In this episode of How Bad Do You Want It?, August Wild sits down with Xorge, better known online as JorgeWithAnX, to look beyond the viral videos and into the work, persistence, and decisions behind the creator.

Independent Hip-Hop Artist NittyGritty goes track by track for his album Perception.

The story begins long before the first blackout. At four years old, August took his first sip of alcohol and learned a lesson that would follow him for decades: drinking wasn't dangerous—it was normal. What starts as a childhood memory slowly reveals itself as the foundation of a cycle he doesn't yet realize he's trapped inside.

As August grows older, fitting in becomes more important than being himself. Alcohol transforms from a family tradition into a social tool, helping him become the version of himself he believes people will accept. The problem is, the more confident he appears, the further he drifts from who he really is

When confidence stops working, alcohol becomes an escape. Heartbreak, rejection, and insecurity collide during two fraternity formals that end in blackouts and a suicide attempt August can't even remember. For the first time, the cycle isn't embarrassing—it's deadly.

Searching for connection, August turns drinking into a ritual of belonging. Parties, friendships, and recording sessions all begin chasing the same feeling: acceptance. But the more people surround him, the lonelier he becomes, forcing him to confront a painful question—what happens when belonging still doesn't feel like home?

Eventually, the distractions run out. A violent incident involving shattered glass, blood, and years of suppressed emotion forces August to stop performing and start feeling. For the first time, the mask begins to crack, revealing the pain he spent years trying to outrun.

Then comes the night that almost ended everything. After drinking himself unconscious in a final attempt to disappear, August wakes up facing a reality he can no longer avoid. The fantasy is dead. The excuses are gone. And survival now requires something far more difficult than drinking ever did: surrender.

Recovery doesn't arrive with applause or dramatic speeches. It begins quietly—at a diner table, sick, broken, and out of reasons to keep repeating the same cycle. Seven years later, August looks back on the decision that changed everything and explains what happens after rock bottom: the slow, uncomfortable, beautiful process of becoming someone new.